dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
