Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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