What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
