Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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