And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Pooping to opera.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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