Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
