Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
