He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
