I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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