the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
