dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My bed smells like the plague
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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