I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
