I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
