He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He passed out mid-signature
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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