Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
