normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
