I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
