smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize