A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
