Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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