Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I've blown a few things in my day
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
