before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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