In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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