LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
