hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
