Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Jerry, you need to find god
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
