found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
