Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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