Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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