It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
