I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize