I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
