She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
