i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
