I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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