i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize