Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
