Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
