Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
