Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
