We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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