dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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