just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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