you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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