so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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