Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
