Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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