quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
