Kiss
Puke
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
