Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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