i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
