Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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