I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
