she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
this will be a night to untag.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
