So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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