I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
