Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
All the doctor said was why
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
