i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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