She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
vagina is talking i cant
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You can't just leave with hair like that
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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