Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
