i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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