I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
4 words: hood of his car
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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