You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
