The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
