it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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