Are we in a gay sports bar?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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