i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
no, he came in my armpit
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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