I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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