Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
