Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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