If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
