i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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