Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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