I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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