Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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