The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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