update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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